Tag Archives: Work

Director of Human Resources to Ted Lawrence, March 2006

Intensive Quickbooks Pro training

Dear Ted,

We have received your full report explaining your absence from work between February 28th and March 17th. I’m not really sure why you thought the company had a “Spring Training” program in Miami, or why you flew down there and stayed even after you must have noticed you were the only one there. It does explain the many receipts we’ve received, and the constant calls from American Express asking if we were buying suntan lotion and neon swim trunks on corporate card F.

Obviously, this is a tough time of year for accountants, and we do agree we want our team in top condition for the upcoming filing rush. Still, I’m not convinced this “Spring Training” program you embarked on would actually help. When you say you had “2 hours of fielding drills per day,” what does that mean? You were practicing fielding questions from clients? You were studying up on different tax incentives for workers in different fields? I would think any sort of study like that could be done on-site.

Finally, I find it hard to believe that you “sustained a blister” on your “primary calculating finger,” which will keep you out of action for “2-3 weeks.” It’s great that you think you’ll be ready for “opening day,” whatever that is, but we’ll need to see a doctor’s note. We do not have a “disability list” to put you on, and I wouldn’t even know what it means to “call someone up from the farm team” to fill in for you.

Please respond this time,

Kenneth Vogelberg

HR Director, Seven Seas Accounting

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