Listen up, pup. This White House ain’t big enough for the both of us. You think you’re hot stuff, strutting in here with your tail wagging and your fur perfectly fluffed?
Well, think again. I know your game, and I’ve been cuddly since before you were born. I was here first, and Mommy and Daddy love me the most. Malia might be outgrowing me a little, but Sasha’s still got my back. I survived the first administration and I’m sure as hell making it through the second. So shove your drippy, disgusting tongue back in your mouth and sit, girl.
Also, welcome to the family!