TO: email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com; newlady1; newlady2(spanish one); firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com
RE: DOMA, VRA, and Pizza Toppings
Once again, the nation looks at our once great institution with dismay. For where the Supreme Court used to be a beacon of sanity amongst the various tides of demagoguery, we have once again placed ourselves above the rest of the government in a shocking display of judicial hubris. I refer, of course, to the shameful way the majority has thwarted the democratic will of the people and settled on bacon and peppers for our pizza toppings.
In the long and illustrious history of our institution, never before has such an outrage been perpetrated. Would our Founding Fathers have ordered such modern and frankly scandalous toppings on their pizzas? Or would they have ordered pepperoni, the topping that has consistently been approved by the democratically elected branches? The answer, until this court stepped in, should have been obvious.
The laws of this country are not subject to the changing whims of popular opinion. We, as justices, are sworn to uphold the law as it is written in the Constitution of this land, not the law as we would have it. Pizza has always been subject to this law, and it has always been in the interest of the country to defer to pepperoni when the law is unclear. That the majority today has eschewed this tradition in favor of some new fad, pushed by a political agenda, is frankly unimaginable.
P.S. Does anyone have the new lady and the Spanish lady’s emails? I keep getting an error when I try to send anything?