Thank you note from Joseph to Jacob, Biblical times

My blood would blend right in with these fantastic colors!

My blood would blend right in with these fantastic colors!

Dear Dad,

Thank you so much for the lovely coat. It’s really quite bright, which I love, and I feel like it makes it easier for people to see me at night. The only problem is it’s making my brothers into jealous, bloodthirsty assholes.

Don’t get me wrong–I love the jacket. I’ve even been wearing it when I sleep, because you spent all our money on it, so we couldn’t afford any blankets. But yeah, I guess murderous brothers (and there are 11 of them!) aren’t worth it, to me, personally.

If it was up to me, everyone would have a cloak of this sort, but it does feel just a little bit ostentatious considering all the brown everyone else is wearing. Plus, again, my imminent death at the hands of my kin. So I think you’ll understand why I took it to Goodwill this morning. No doubt Issachar will be wearing it by nightfall.

Thanks again,

Joseph

p.s. Don’t tell Issachar I said that.

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