This fascinating example of prehistoric political behavior comes to us courtesy of Dr. Marlon Goggalor, Professor of Anthropolitics and Swing Dancing at the University of Missouri – Broider Grove
Chief Thak want information about your ideas. Please fill out rock and throw on pile with other rocks at earliest convenience.
Politics (please circle with blood and/or pencil):
- Do you approve of how Thak does job of Chief? Y N
- Do you prefer meat-focused food gathering or berry-focused? Meat Berry
- Do you support restrictions on sale of spears and/or arrows? Y N
- If Thak wants to fight other tribe, do you prefer to fight Tribe That Looks Like Us but Lives in Forest, or Tribe with Big Teeth That Hunts and Eats Us, and are also Dirty Communists? Forest Communists
- If Thak held election for chief, would you vote for Thak or to be stabbed in the eye with a spear? Thak Spear in eye
- Occupation: Hunter Gatherer Hunter-Gatherer Chief Shaman
- Are you a virgin? Yes, I have been sacrificed to the Sun God Yes, but I have not been sacrificed yet No
- Are you a: Man Not-man
- Age: Number of fingers + toes or younger Ancient
- Are you: Mostly Hairy Somewhat Hairy Not Hairy
- Would you support an increase in the excise tax not exceeding 12% in order to increase fiscal expenditures with respect to hunting and gathering over the next quarter?
Survey designed and compiled by Zog, Zog, and Rasmussen Polling Solutions