Letters exchanged by a gameshow contestant and the show’s host, 200 BCE

No, sorry. The correct answer was E) All of the above.

No, sorry. The correct answer was E) All of the above.

Antithicus,

You’ve earned 5,000 coins and this competition is just getting started. Your 7,500 coin question is:

Who was the Macedonian king who built an empire?

A) Alexander the Satisfactory

B) Alexander the Turd Burger

C) Alexander the Great

D) Dorine the Exceptionally Pretty

As usual, please imagine me asking you these questions dramatically and refusing to accept your “final answer” without a little needling. Then imagine me stating your answer to a crowded square and there being a moment of loaded silence before I acknowledge if you were right or wrong.

Best of luck!

Yours,

Regis Physkon

*

Dear Regis,

My final answer is C) Alexander the Great. No, wait, before I locked that in, I want to change it to B) Alexander the Turd Burger. Fingers crossed! Love to my wife and kids who are here in my house with me right now!

Best wishes,

Antithicus

*

Antithicus,

Before I tell you if you were correct, tell me: what would you do with another 7,500 coins?

Yours,

Regis Physkon

*

Dear Regis,

Oh wow, that’s a great question! It sounds like a pretty crazy dream right now, but I guess I’d probably get a second goat and start selling some goat’s milk down at the market. I’m not getting ahead of myself though.

Best wishes,

Antithicus

*

Antithicus,

That sounds terrific. Let’s check your answer. Oof, no, sorry that was incorrect. It’s alright, I had to look it up, too. Nice to know you’re still sticking to the honor code, anyway! The correct answer was C) Alexander the Great. That means you’re remaining at home and we will send your 5,000 coins by donkey to your house in Thrace.

Yours,

Regis Physkon

*

Dear Regis,

Oh man! I’m disappointed, but I’m still happy to be taking home 5,000 coins. It was an amazing experience to send letters back and forth with you for nearly a year, and I hope the guy waiting behind me in line to compete next didn’t die. No regrets!

Best wishes,

Anthiticus

p.s. My wife and kids look disappointed but a little relieved.

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