Urgent Appeal from Cats for America, December 31, 2008

Cats in sinks. Normal cats, too.

Dear Kevin,

Do you have a special cat in your life? So many of us do. And that’s why Cats for America has never been more important. From our essential work with cat-promotion to our effective cat-advocacy programming, Cats for America is the top cat-related organization in America.

But cats aren’t free. And we need your donations to keep us in the cat non-profit world. Please act now to donate even just $500 to the cause of cats. If you do so before the end of 2008, you can reap the cat-tax benefits this April.

With your help, we’ll reach our goal of $3 million cat dollars, which we’ll use for cat publicity, a very special cat-related public relations campaign, and of course, cats (in general). Be a cat, today, and makes cats your number-cat priority in 2008!

Cats to you and yours,

Henry O’Brien

Coordinator, Cats for America

Analysis:

It may be seem hard to believe now, but at one point in our history the internet was not covered in cats. Though it seems like ages ago, it’s been only a few years since one could freely browse the great websites of our time without running into cats eating cheeseburgers, cats hugging each other, cats waking up from naps, and a myriad of other adorable things. Now, thanks to the persistent and effective lobbying efforts of the mysterious “Cats for America” organization, it is nearly impossible to go one day on the internet without seeing a cat.

Little is known of CfA, or of its elusive founder, Miriam Beth Davidoff. In 1998, the foundation was organized as charity, but with a significant political lobbying arm. Recently released documents show that the Congressional subcommittee on Animals and the Internet (chaired at that time by former congressman Tom DeLay) was wary of the organization, writing that “is the cat, America’s second- or even third-favorite pet to be given preferential treatment in easily transmittable pictures?” These queries went unanswered, and within a few years, CfA was already sending or posting up to 26,000 pictures an hour.

Though military analysts downplay the suggestion that these cat pictures are some sort of cyberterrorist groundwork, it is common knowledge that the CIA at one point tested a weaponized form of cuteness in the late 1970s. It is believed cats were the preferred vehicle. So remember parents, watch out for your children’s safety on the internet. You never know if they will be sucked in by Cats for America and seduced into a “wife of adorwableness.”

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s