Caveman to other Cavemen, c. 11,000 BCE

Also, I sue you if you have other fruits. My idea first!

Friend!

Thak proud to announce new Apples for this season! Unlike last year, when Thak announce 4 apples, this year Thak announce 4 apples plus a stick! Soon, maybe Thak introduce 5 apples!

New features for this season include: more deliciousness per unit, larger eating surface, and increased anti-worm developments! Tired of worms in fruits? Try new Apples! Thak promise fewer worms per bite than other fruits.

Thak also pleased to announce AppleCloud. This revolutionize Apples by having cloud above when you eat. Shade + apples = delicious! Also, save apple for later in cloud. Be sure throw high to save!

Finally, Thak announce new addition. Every apple comes with a small female child. It can remember things or distract boar during hunt! Don’t miss out on future of fruit!

Send Thak more barter for apples and you be coolest in tribe for all season.

Thak

Analysis:

This announcement of the new and improved “Apples, 4” caused quite a stir in Thak’s quiet community. Under some trees, the rush for 4 apples created lines that were so long they took until the sun moved to the top of the sky for people to get their apples. In the end, some people did not get apples at all, or only got three, and went home very disappointed to angry wife who hit them over the head with rocks for not getting up early enough.

Unfortunately, Thak’s tribe were wiped out by the Neanderthals before anyone could figure out what to do with their four apples other than admire them. The Neanderthals weren’t interested in the commoditization of fruit, but instead put their time into person-to-person relationships with family and friends, which is why they are now extinct.

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