Come one come all to the first annual Atlantic City Boardwalk Association County Fair of Interesting and Unusual Attractions and Amusements!
Yes, as the temperature rises, why not bring your family to our humble boardwalk, where you can, for the mere fee of one dime (one nickel for children under ten years of age, free for cholerics and those afflicted with any variety of consumption) enter and explore the grandest of amusements! Yes, why waste away in your home or tenement building when you and yours can experience some slight excitements? What excitements await, you may well ask? Well, have a gander at this partial list!
- An exhibit of freaks and other oddities – Come see the deadly Electrical Woman or Octopus Man! Marvel at the sight of the world’s fattest grandfather, tipping the scales at over fifty and two hundred pounds! Gasp at the Chinese Woman!
- A most exciting collection of games of skill and chance – Test your luck at our row of over 10 games! Toss a be-ringed hoop onto a slightly smaller hoop! Test your strength by hammering a nail into a board! Try your luck throwing a ball at a midget!
- Do you want excitement? Thrill at our most heart-pounding adventure rides! The terrifying Merried Go-Around, where your children can ride on a horse traveling in a circle! And don’t miss our newest invention, a “Ferrissed Wheel” traveling in a circle horizontally a full 6 feet above the ground! Finally, why not check out our most thrilling adventure: the Alphonse Dubuque Memorial Reading Library! Read the latest in prosaica and noveltry in one of our exciting leather armchairs! View the vast and unconquerable domain of Poseidon, the Mighty Atlantic, through any number of windows overlooking the beach!
Come one, come all for a full day’s adventure you’ll never forget* with the whole family. July 1st through the 4th at the Atlantic City Boardwalk Association County Fair of Interesting and Unusual Attractions and Amusements!
*Not valid for mineworkers and factory children, who may forget this and other events due to brain poisoning and other circumstances outside our control.
This crumbling artifact was discovered in the English basement of Mrs. Henry Zeller of Passaic, New Jersey in a box labeled “crumbling artifacts.” After Mrs. Zeller’s death, her good-for-nothing grandson Andrew Chan was looking for stuff he could sell and found this flyer, which we bought off him for $15 and some magic brownies.
Determined to set itself apart from the Coney Island Boardwalk, the Atlantic City Boardwalk Association strived to make itself the classiest boardwalk in the tri-state area. The spirit of competition has kept these two locales on the cutting edge of luxury resorts ever since.
Boardwalks have been around since the days of the Vikings, who needed a place to store dead bodies before they unceremoniously dumped them into the sea. Of course, Viking entrepreneurs saw an opportunity and before long there were ice cream trucks and arcade games right alongside the makeshift morgue, bringing delight to the soon-hardened hearts of Viking children.