As you all know, I am a charitable person. I once complimented a bum on his shoes. I once told Mary Sterger that her new hairdo looked great even if it was clearly an inch too short (Hi Mary! Glad you’ve grown it back!). So it should be no surprise that I am writing you this letter asking for donations for my new charitable pledge-based endeavor. I will be taking part in the Dave Thomas Foundation’s 12K Drive to Wendy’s on August 19th and it would be great if you could give what you can to help.
I believe very strongly in the message of the Thomas Foundation, namely “helping people help themselves to delicious square hamburgers.” So I will take part in this grueling test, wherein I will bravely go from my apartment to my car, parked ON THE STREET in temperatures as high as 81 degrees. From there, I will start the car and drive to the Wendy’s on Rt 139, waiting for my air conditioning to cool off the inside of my vehicle and sweating all the while (for about 6 minutes). Luckily, it takes place at lunchtime on a Monday, so the traffic won’t be too bad (fingers crossed!). Once at Wendy’s, I will summon the last of my strength to again brave the heat, enter, stand in line, and order a spicy chicken sandwich. From there, I will eat the sandwich and any soda and/or french fries offered. Of course, some people would take the easy way out and go through the drive-through, eating the sandwich at home on the couch in front of her soap operas. But not me! And knowing I have your support will help me through those difficult final spoonfuls of Frosty.
The minimum pledge is $10 per kilometer, but I know you all believe in this cause as much as I do, so please feel free to give more. Every penny goes to helping someone eat.
People have been using races to raise money, ever since the first marathon, when Pheidippides ran 26.2 miles from Marathon to Athens to raise money for a school trip. Although Pheidippides died at the end of his courageous run, his friends and family raised enough money to rent a bus for his class.
While the most popular cause to raise money for is still cancer, people have used races to raise money for many different causes over the years, including cleaner water fountains, increased literacy among farm animals, and yes, fast food availability.
Today, the racer typically creates an internet webpage with information about the event, an explanation for why he or she has chosen to participate, and photographs of the person running or high-fiving someone. As Americans have become increasingly fat and out of shape, they’ve turned to driving rather than running, which has made the distances much more impressive.