The Least Effective Chain Email Ever Sent, June 1999

Oh man, better do what it says. My future is at stake!

TO: grams111@aol.com, golfer1234@aol.com, puppykitty1@yahoo.com, wmromney@baincapital.com, 31 others

FROM: THEawesomestDude69@aim.com

Subject: Re: re: fw: FW: Fw: RE: RE: re: FW: fw: re: RE: YOU’VE BEEN GRAPED!

Apple, Banana, Watermelon, GRAPE! You’ve been graped! Forward this email to all your friends!

10 friends: 10 people will get this email

20 friends: 20 people will get this email

30 friends: 30 people will get this email

100 friends: your crush will kiss you!

But if you don’t send it, you’ll have the GRAPE CURSE! Sally Petunia didn’t send it to any friends. She just ignored it. Then, two weeks later, she fell into a pool at a pool party!

Tommy also got graped, but he didn’t send it to anyone. He thought chain letters was fake (LOL!!!!). Then two weeks later, his mom got him a pizza for dinner, but the crust was rubbery! Then he had to take a bath! When he got to school the next day, he had a test! He only got a 81!

Belly Pirkle also got this email. She ignored it for two days until her dad ran over a squirrel. Then she forwarded it to 400 people and the next day, she had a strawberry poptart!

FORWARD IT AND AVOID THE GRAPE CURSE! lolololo!!!!!!1! 😉 😛

Analysis:

The chain email has a long and storied history dating all the way back to 1996 or so, when a threatening Alabama man named Higbert Johnson got a list of everyone on the internet’s email address and sent them all an email. The ten people who received the email were amused by Johnson’s insistence that they forward the email to ten other people, when they knew they were the only people on the internet.

Some of them printed out the email and mailed it to ten of their friends. Others committed suicide on the spot. Using high-tech email genetic sequencing, this email can be traced all the way back to Johnson’s original email although only the words “strawberry poptart” were in the original.

Oh yeah, and one more thing: forward this blog post to 10 of your friends or nobody will ever read it!!!!?!?!?!!

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