Unpublished Letter to the Editor of the New York Times, January 1935

Nothing wrong with a little fascism if it helps the market!

Sirs:

While I agree that not all of his policies are necessarily perfect, I feel you are being too hard on this Adolph Hitler fellow. Say what you will about his methods, but he has the German economy up and humming these days. That’s more than you can say about Franklin DELANO Roosevelt. So while they’re fixing their economy with faith and freedom, we’re losing ours to creeping socialism thanks to this big-government, big-spending liberal.

Instead of wringing our hands about stopping this Skip Hitler fellow, why don’t we ask what we can learn from him? He takes a hard line against socialism, he keeps his promises about letting business be free, and he knows his way around a rally. Meanwhile, Franklin DELANO Roosevelt might be Italian. What kind of a name is Delano anyways?

I think this country needs more of Mr. Hitler, not less. Roosevelt never would have been elected without his legion of voters brainwashed by this newfangled “radio.” And yet, there has never been an investigation into what radio waves actually do the human brain. Why can’t we wake up to who the REAL enemies are?

Sincerely,

Richie “Rip” Brewer

Analysis:

Widely considered the best newspaper ever made because of its hard-hitting reporting on what homes you can buy for $499,000, the New York Times nonetheless receives many letters to the editor from wackos and jerk-offs. Throughout the years, many of these people have been friends of the editor, inquiring if he would like to get lunch, and several of these letters have been accidentally printed in the paper. Newspaper scholars believe New York Times editors are especially concerned with showing off how popular they are.

1935 was a heady time (not as heady as 1969, but what year can claim that distinction?), and a lot of people said things they didn’t mean.  Heddy Steinowitz told her beau David Herman that she’d marry him, when secretly she planned to run away to Australia (which at the time was believed to be a secret moon colony), for goodness sakes. In retrospect, Richie Brewer would probably regret saying some of the nice things about Hitler that he said, but hindsight’s 20-20.

This letter can also be found in our archived collection of Anti-Italian Sentiment that There Might Be Something To.

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