Letter to the Editors of Tiger Beat Magazine, June 1998

Britney Spears - Tiger Beat Magazine [United States] (1999)

This is the most misnamed magazine since "Popular Science"!

Dear Sirs:

I am writing to say how disappointed I am in your May 1998 issue. I picked it up from a news stand when I saw the title. Finally, a magazine for tiger enthusiasts that’s not the wretched “Tigers Monthly.” I thought I was going to get a hip, fresh take on all the latest in tiger care, tiger news, and tiger gossip. Instead, I have to explain to my Sumatran Tiger what a Britney spear is. It was utterly humiliating for both Leonard and myself.

In fact, I can’t recall a single mention of any species of tiger in the entirety of the magazine. Perhaps one of these Ricky Martins said he liked tigers, I can’t really remember. Frankly, with so much chatter about the Eastern Lakes Tiger Show to deliver, it’s hard to believe you couldn’t find space for one photo retrospective. I read through it twice and found not one single mention of how to properly trim your tiger’s claws. It’s outrageous that you’re allowed to continue calling yourself the number one name on the Tiger Beat. I will be purchasing your next issue expecting a much better showing on this front.

Also, if you’re looking for contributions, I have a column on tiger shampoos just waiting to be published.

Yours angrily,

Walt Fremmis and Leonard and Bostwick

P.S. – In all fairness, Leonard loved your piece on the budding friendship between the Backstreet Boys and the Insink.

Analysis:

Tiger Beat has received many angry letters to the editor over the years, although this is the only one related to actual tigers. Most have been related to scrunchies, specifically whether they are amazing or not. For example, this letter from Mary Logarth, 11, of Hopstead, California, sent in 1992:

Dear Editor:

I was shocked to hear your thoughts on leopard print scrunchies. How dare you suggest they are superior to solid colors! I demand a refund for my subscription from this shitty shitty magazine. I don’t even have any friends and I’d rather just be sad than read your magazine.

Sincerely,

Mary Logarth

Unfortunately for Tiger Beat, nobody else had written in to the magazine in years, so they were forced to print the letter. Walt Fremmis eventually started his own tiger newsletter, which nobody read but himself.

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